What’s the Right Decision? Why is it so difficult to decide sometimes?

Why is it so easy to decide for or advise everybody else but extremely difficult to take a decision that would impact your life? Because the stakes are higher.Because it’s your life and you really can’t mess up.

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When was the last time you took a decision? Please don’t say everyday.I mean a real decision.  Not the ones that involve deciding on the outfit you’re going to wear today or whether you’d eat cereals or egg for breakfast or which road your going to take to avoid the traffic or your next travel destination.Those are everyday choices. I don’t even mean choices relating to whether you should move your home or not or buy a new car. Those are again lifestyle changes aimed to make you comfortable. I mean decisions that are life changing like whether you should be getting married or not, starting a family or not, migrating to another country or not, quitting your existing job or changing your career or going back to studies again.

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I have been fretting over the last 4 months on a decision I need to take. It’s not about whether I need to take it or not. That decision has been taken. But in that bigger circle I had been allowed the space of deciding the time to take my decision-  “Now or Later”. Since it’s only the timing of implementing my decision that I need to take, you would think it would have been a lot more easier. Maybe it is for some but not for me and I am not proud to say I fall into the category of people who tend to weigh every aspect before going ahead with any decision, especially if it has a financial aspect to it. However, since all aspects cannot be quantified and some aspects are based on your values and “what you think feels rights”, the decision making process gets longer and a lot more complicated. Is that wrong? No! Because we live in a world where bills need to be paid and are knocking on your door every month and nothing comes free. The quantitative financial aspect looms over all the intangible feelings and it’s easy to believe that what you’re doing is right. In fact, you may even give yourself a pat on the back for having kept your feelings under check.

How do you put a value to the intangibles?

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I did a SWOT analysis. I put a value to my “Now or Later” decision and I prided myself with the ability to think with my head and to be able to take a decision that definitely did not burn our pockets. In all ways, it seemed the ideal thing to do and there was no loss involved, at-least not one that I could quantify. Yet, even after I had taken the decision I knew no peace. The question of “Now or Later”  continued haunting me and kept me awake most nights even after I had taken the decision.  My mind kept regurgitating every argument in favor of and against my decision with equal vigor, taking over every waking moment of my life and my little brain was buckling under the pressure, no longer able to see the pros of one over the other. The balance sheet hadn’t managed to convince my conscience and my mind continued to torture me. There was obviously something wrong.

What  was Life saying to me?decision1

I’d either gone stone-deaf or numb for I seemed incapable of seeing or feeling the signs. The signs– I know they were there, watching me intently, staring at me hard in the face, waiting to be picked up but insensitive me, blinded by the material world, could see nothing. Or was it just the instinct not to rock the comfortably floating boat? Or was it a fear of the unknown or the plain absence of courage that made me hold on to the known and did not let me take the plunge. Or was it naked greed to make the most of the available harvest?

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Turning to God to help

So, like most people who remember the Almighty when they are in trouble, I turned to the Great Power. “Help me to decide what’s right” I said. I knew He would answer and I am certain He was, but my desires had dimmed my sight and weakened my hearing. That  voice in my heart : faint, unclear, obscure, buried under the rubble of my scattered thoughts was trying to say something to me; it was trying to reach out to me but it wasn’t able to keep up with the cacophony grueling inside of me.

The Heart & the Brain at War

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As the internal chaos in my head was making me disoriented, my instinct to survive kicked in and my brain said, “Whatever happens is meant to be, so just wait. Go with the flow”. That instantly made me feel so much better . That meant I did not have to rethink my decision. I just needed to wait and move on. The heart however decided to have a say too, “You need to decide the flow.Waiting for Fate to decide? What a shame! You know what you have to do.

Take Charge of your life and believe whatever happens next is God’s willdecision

Aiming to make peace with my brain and heart, I was forced to think again on what I had chosen.  I knew that I would know it, when I took the right decision; I would feel peace. And I was right!

Finally last week, I took a decision in favor of the things that couldn’t be quantified but were probably far more important.  Is my practical brain worried? No! Of-course not! In-fact there’s no conflict anymore. My mind and heart have finally agreed and they’ve told me that whatever happens next is God’s Will. Now it feels so much better.

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No sooner had I taken the decision, I got a message from a friend who I hadn’t met or spoken to since the last 20 odd years. An article of hers had been published on a website and she had decided to share it with a few of her friends.Fortunately I was one of the chosen ones.  The article spoke of how life had changed overnight for her and how she was forced to take some hard decisions. You can read about her inspirational story here- Dimple Makhija   

 

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Since nothing is really in our control, why be afraid? We need to take decisions believing in the best possible outcome and then do everything in our power to make them work.

You don’t get the chance to take a decision all the time. Many a time, life throws it’s decisions your way…the big circle. Enjoy the space within the big circle to make your own decisions. Use your choice and don’t be afraid. Empower yourself and Exercise your power when you can!

 

Living for today, making the most of life and focusing on what truly matters should be the essence of every decision taken; the most important things in life simply cannot be valued in figures. You can’t always play it safe and you can never be fully prepared. So do what feels right and take those decisions that you’ve been dilly-dallying.

Copyright©,2017, lifeateacher.wordpress.com. All Rights Reserved.

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16 comments

  1. We all have face a situation where we have to make what we think is right, yet we want to weigh the pros over the cons but at times the negatives of the unseen bother our fogged mind. I could totally relate to your situation. Wishing you all the very best for whatever it is that awaits you, Smitha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes…with all the knowledge that we possess and a conscience that actually does shout it out, decision making is still so difficult because we are so scared of if we go wrong. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion and it truly helps to know I’m not alone in this boat. And a very big thank you for your kind wishes❤. I need all the wishes I can get at this point☺

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it’s torture until you’ve made the right decision when a decision affects not just us but others we care about too. Especially since some voices maybe so much more feebler than others yet so much more important. Thank you for understanding. I’m a lot more relaxed now.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Robbie for your kind words. Yes, the decisions we take lead us to a path that had always been planned for us. No matter what path is taken, the result will be as has been decided by God. Yet, we fret and worry endlessly. Wishing you a lovely Sunday too. XOXO

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful post Smitha. Loved each word of it. I’m glad you finally made a decision that pacified both your mind and heart. I’ve been procrastinating over a decision for long…to resume my corporate career or not…still contemplating…but your post is certainly a driver…urging me to decide fast 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Vandana. So I guess this is the sign Life is sending you to take a decision:). Do what makes you happy and the rest fill fall into place. All the best to your decision making. I am glad the post is a driver.Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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