HELPLESS

I visit the senior home-

there is a cage in the basement

with parakeets that greet

and potted plants in the hallway.

The walls are pink and cheery

and the floors are clean and shiny

The air smells like the pool

and the hospital – Chlorine and Dettol

I take the lift upstairs to where the rooms are

the television is blaring

a few seniors are on the couch staring

I tiptoe across the room attempting invisibility

To the fourth door on the right

I gently slide the door

Somewhere in between the white sheets

and the blue blanket is a face that’s mine

I loom like Gulliver

the eyes are shut, the skin loose, crumpled

I am flooded by guilt, I stand helpless

at the feet –

that once led and let me follow

then guided and let me walk beside

and later stood one step behind me lest I fall

They lie on the bed withering, as I stand tall

And I can do nothing

Nothing at all.

Copyright@smithavishwanathsblog.com. All Rights Reserved.

16 comments

    1. Kamal thank you, thank you. Coming from one who not only writes beautiful poetry but shares so much wisdom everyday and packs it with so much love, I am thrilled. 🙏

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  1. The greatest lesson I learned from my father’s dementia was that Alzheimers does not kill love. What you can do in this situation is you can still love. You must overcome your horror and hopeless feeling and love with your voice, your touch and whatever small acts of comfort you can manage. You cannot bring back what they were, but you can enter into their current reality and love them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jo for your words of support and advice that comes from the experience of being exactly where I am today. I will do that – ‘be there’ as you say. 🙏

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        1. I’m sorry to hear of your loss Jo. May your parents soul rest in peace🙏
          Losing a parent is huge. I lost my mom 14 years ago. I changed…kind of grew up…so I know what you mean. Dad’s doing better now though I know at his age things will only be on the decline. Thank you for sharing your personal experience here. Sending you a hug across the distance.

          Like

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