I wrote this post in 2017. I remember sharing it with dad on WhatsApp. He did not reply. When I asked him the next day if he had read it, he said, ‘I did nothing. It was your mother who managed it all. You and your sister are the way you’ll are because of her.’ I’m glad I told him what he meant to me. When I shared the post with my younger sister. She simply said that she agreed to every word of it. I told him that too. He did not reply. I guess he wasn’t great at taking compliments.
The moment I read the prompt “Ten”today, a number oflists of ten sprung to my mind- ‘the ten things that I am immensely grateful for’, ‘ten beautiful memories’,’ ten best holiday destinations’, ‘ten things I truly detest’,… Then there was this topic- a topic I have long wanted to write on but never knew how and where to begin because what one learns from a parent is endless.
However, the topic “ten” sets a boundary, so this is the perfect start for this subject. I have thought of writing this often, because who I am today is primarily because ofthese ten things that I learnt from my dad without him ever saying it. I learnt by watching!
My dad was and is a strict disciplinarian. I looked up to him just like any child does and trusted his ability to save me from anybody or anything.I…
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Eúnoia 
Sounds like he instilled some wonderful values. I do feel blessed myself though that I had a rare Dad that showed affection and support. It certainly wasn’t the norm for the last generation.
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Thank you so much Liam for reading and writing back. I read your posts too. You’re doing an amazing job caring for your dad. It needs a lot of strength, love and patience. God bless you! And ofcourse you’re fortunate to have had a dad who showed affection. Having that during the growing up years makes a lot of difference.
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This is a beautiful post and I am grateful to get to know your dad through your words. Reminds me of my dad who cannot express his emotions too and honesty is something I got from him.
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Thank you so much Pragalbha for taking the time to read my posts as I pour my heart out. It means so much to me. I guess its the common values that we have ( instilled by our fathers) that’s helped us bond here.
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Smitha you were blessed to have a wonderful and fantastic dad. Your post is so beautiful. I too had a dad but my mom and he were separated when I was around 8 years old so cannot say much about him though at times when he visited me he was kind and gentle but that was my experience.
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Thank you so much Kamal for taking the time to read it. I guess I was. I’m sorry to hear about your parents separation. It must have been hard. I’m sure he was kind and gentle and your mom must have been loving and strong. I see it in your posts- so full of love and wisdom. Kamal you’re a beautiful person inside out and I’m so happy that we connected here. Hugs
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You are always welcome dear Smitha and yes this is my destiny and I had to have such beautiful and kind parents but they did not get along well with each other. Time is a great healer Smitha and it has taught me a lot in life. We all need to be happy and joyful with each and everyone especially with our family. You are a wonderful person yourself and yes so nice to be connected with you. Love and hugs to you. Can understand what you are going through losing your dear dad. Love and lots of 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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I have to ask my daughters. I also have two of them. But I shall let it pass. From my side I have given them all the space they wanted.
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I’m sure you have. I barely know you (I mean literally) and yet I do…know you. You’re a mentor, generous with teaching and sharing knowledge. You may be partial to daughters (my dad was and I see it in you :)) and you are an inspiration- in the way you write and paint (you’re even writing for your grandson) and you’re not arrogant…at all.
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I wish I lived with no regrets…I appreciate things about my life that would be impossible without them, and that’s as close as I get…
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Its tough Lynn to have no regrets. I suppose there will always be regrets for the things left unsaid and undone. Its human. Dad however did try to ensure we got as close as we could to living without regrets. I’m sure he had his own too. He just never spoke of it.
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Ha. I once wrote a story for ByLine Magazine. Imagine it’s no longer in pulblicaiton. “10 Reasons to Quit” — Writing of course. It was funny. I’ll have to look at it again sometime.
My relationship with my father sounds much more complicated. I do tell him I love him, but he’s not responsive anymore. I never measured up despite being a professor and a writer –, yet it’s me here taking care of him. I love hearing you write about your dad. Mine is in the hospital presently — never sure what the future holds. XO
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Oh really 🙂 That is funny. I can’t imagine what you would have said for you clearly did not follow it. Do share it if you find it.
Lynn, I’ve read your posts and I think you’re extremely strong- caring for your dad and son cannot be easy. But you’re doing it. God bless you. I know how difficult it is to be a caregiver and I’m in awe of you. Its amazing how you tell your dad you love him despite the fact that he is not responsive. I think that’s pure love. Thank you so much for letting me know you enjoy reading my posts. It’s really nice to know that at-least there are a few people out there who aren’t bored of reading it.
I guess after everything that’s happened in the family and around, I’m not sure either about the future. It’s best to take it one day at a time and celebrate the ones around us. That is what I am doing. XOXO
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