Poem: How a mother feels

Poem: How a mother feels

My poem, ‘How a mother feels’ is posted on Destiny poets.

Don’t ask a mother how she feels
When a child leaves home the first time
Not for a sleepover or the weekend
or a week's summer camp,
or even an extended vacation
But when a child leaves, I mean,
like really leaves- to a land, far,
far away from home
Don't ask a mother how she feels
Not then, not anytime soon

For her emotions run high like a muddy river
Flowing precariously close to the river's edge.
Give her time, let her be
So, the silt of separation settles

Do read the rest of the poem here and let me know what you think.

Background: I wrote this poem when my older one left to University, two 
months ago. It was only natural for people to ask me how I felt or tell me 
that I was going to miss her immensely and that I should find something to
 keep myself occupied. I did not bother explaining myself. I had been
 bracing myself for the day since sometime and when it came, I knew she was 
ready to leave. I know it might sound odd when I say this, but, the truth is
thanks to Covid, we did get an extra year together as she did her course online.
I feel grateful for the extra year with her.
Copyright@smithavishwanathsblog.com. All Rights Reserved.

23 responses to “Poem: How a mother feels”

  1. Very beautifully written Smitha. It’s true don’t ask a mother how she feels. I too am going to go through this once my son vaishnav too goes to college in few months. But reading this gives me an inner strength.Thank you so much for sharing this lovely poem

    • Thank you so much, dear Vineetha. I’m so glad the poem resonated with you. We’ll get there, don’t worry. Thank you for reading and sharing your feelings here. Loads of love to you.

  2. This is truly heartfelt and just gorgeous. I love how you end your poem, and that you had an extra year together. I don’t have kids but I have a mother in another country. She knows. <3 Much love.

    • Thank you so much, dear Manja for your warm words of comfort. While everybody grumbled about online classes,I remember being very grateful for them because I truly believed, one more year at home would help my older one to become stronger and mature into the person she now is.
      I’m sure your mom must have felt the same when you left for the first time. Much love to you too!❤

  3. Ah yes, the suffering is real. Zoom calls are not the same as having them woven into the daily rhythm of life at home, we miss the passing glance in the hallway, their presence at the dinner table, and their laughter and their music.

    • Thank you, Jo for sharing your feeling on this stage in life- one which all parents must go through. Your comment reads like poetry💕. Everytime,I miss my daughter being physically away, I thank God for whatsapp. Can’t imagine what my mom went through when I left.

    • Thank you so much, dear VJ. Your comment on the poem is truly encouraging. Thank you, for telling me that the poem is relatable.💕

    • Thank you, Kamal for reading the poem and sharing your feelings on it. I’m pleased you liked the poem.
      I’m very thankful for that extra year together. It made all the difference for both of us. Thank you again. 🙂

    • Especially, if the child finds it hard to leave home.
      Since I, had a full-time job at the time, i remember not feeling so much then about the separation. The girls, too, were used to seeing their mother going to work, so, they were excited to get out too. :).
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the poem and your appreciation of the poem, Dan. Your comment took me back in time…it seems so long ago now.

  4. Many are unable to express their emotions as you do. The relationship that starts with the umbilical card is is the hardest to let go. I do understand but it is always from a father’s point of view. I have felt something snatched when my daughter’s got married and went away. Yes the pain of absence is always there. That’s what a parent’s emotion is about.

    • Thank you so much for appreciating my writing. I cherish your feedback very much. I don’t think a father loves a child any lesser. I know exactly how you feel…atleast I think I do. I’d written a poem three years ago on a father’s love by putting myself in my dad’s shoes. I will share it with you and you can tell me whether I got it right. Thank you,Uncle for sharing your feelings on the issue.

    • Thank you, dear Andrea for your warm words. I suppose that’s what keeps parents going- a hope that all the sacrifices made will be good for them. I remind myself our parents did the same. That helps :).

  5. I remember vividly my two baby’s first sleepovers and then both of my boys leaving home. Allowing them to take their initial steps toward independence was most nerve-wracking for me, while their final walk out the door proved to be my proudest moments, and actually easier to handle than the first ones. Being a parent is certainly the most emotional experience I think I’ve gone through. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Smitha.

    • Thank you dear Susi for sharing your experience with your boys. I appreciate it very much. I agree, letting them go at this age is much easier. I suppose, as a mother, you know that it is time, that they’re ready.
      Your comment took me back to the first time my older one left- for a school campfire- I could barely sleep. I agree, being a mom is no easy task. Thank you again, Susi, for writing back.

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